Got anything approaching a fancy old-time frilly dress and a fancy hat?  (Check out your local used clothing place - they may have just the thing.)  That and a life preserver and some vintage accessories makes a nice "Titanic survivor" costume.  (I used to wear a tux or Panama suit with a ring buoy with 'White Star Line' written on it around my neck... pack of cards - with 5 aces - in my pocket... bottle of scotch in my hand).  You could use the foam-core to make the ring buoy.

Last edited by whosasailorthen (2009-10-30 09:00:12)

Or you can dress up like a total sloppy pig... flimsy dress, poorly-fitting bra with the girls riding up until the nipples nearly show, 4" heels... bright red lipstick that looks like it was put on while riding a bucking bronco... do a few hits to get the eyes red...  act all zoned-out and slutty-like.... you'd be Courtney Love.  Extra points for purposely exposing your crotch.

Last edited by whosasailorthen (2009-10-30 08:57:56)

Yes, I second Choad's suggestion. If you were twisted by the Nun's as a child it is the only fitting costume.

In fact I am looking right now through Nuns habits here on choads computer here at his undisclosed location.

choad wrote:

I have the perfect idea, RT. Simple, too. Your highest heels, black fish nets, unrepentant boobage and a nun's habit. The only accesessory you'll need is a foot long ruler.

https://cruelery.com/sidepic/flyingnun02.jpg

Kind of an inverted "Vicars and Tarts", eh?

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You know, with a little



you can pull off anything. Just be careful with your dancing

Roger_That wrote:

choad wrote:

I have the perfect idea, RT. Simple, too. Your highest heels, black fish nets, unrepentant boobage and a nun's habit. The only accesessory you'll need is a foot long ruler.

https://cruelery.com/sidepic/flyingnun02.jpg

Where do I get a nun's habit this last minute???  That would be great.

You can get the habit and the pre-requisite fake prego-tummy at any costume store or Catholic thrift shop

But I woulda figured you would have already had a habit in the closet for your late afternoon play times with Mr. _That

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Last edited by Emmeran (2009-10-30 11:57:13)

Whatever you choose, go with the sexy look.  Men aren't good judges of costume quality or creativity, but they know what they like.  You can always rely on men to fawn over the woman sending out the heat.

My uncle, a number of years back when it was more .. current (though due to that shitty paranormal activity movie that came out it might work) was the blair witch project: he wore jeans, beanie, and a flannel, made a stick guy and wore it around his neck, and put a black painted box on his head with most of the face cut out in a square and had a flash light that he would shine in his face and say, "Im ssooo scared right noow"

it was amazing and my explanation doesn't do it justice. Other than that I got nothing other than what you can find with google images.

Roger_That wrote:

Considering none of the men folk there are any I'd like to impress.

Roger_That wrote:

Halloween is just a lame excuse to dress slutty.  I'm going to a house party where laughs will be of more value.  Considering none of the men folk there are any I'd like to impress.

Well if that's the case, find yourself a trenchcoat, a pair of trousers you can cut up, a pair of tights, a long sock with a red tip, and a pair of colorful boxer shorts.  Put on the tights and boxer shorts.  Cut the trouser legs off just about the knee and tape fasten them to the tights.  Stuff the sock like a giant cock and fasten it to the fly of the boxers.  Now put on the trenchcoat and go to the party as a tranny flasher.

Karenw, come out, come out wherever you are...

at work. will reply tonight.

Ok, I ran right home to help you out.

For the nun, I'd go with a black choir robe from your local thrift store. The wimple can be made from any black fabric item like a skirt or a sheet, cut to fit/drape nicely with a band of white around your face.

For the balloon boy get-up, you can swaddle yourself in foil and pull a little boy doll behind you on the ground from a rope. To look inflated, you can build a crude armature from wire or even pool noodles.

You're welcome to borrow the "ghoul scout" idea. It's sort of the sexy schoolgirl thing with goth makeup.

This year I was Medusa (see Regulars pic). I put all my hair in little ponytails and sprayed that shit green. The snakes are fishing worms with bobby pins through them that I stuck all over my head. Makeup is optional.



One year I modified this raven costume idea from Martha Stewart's site to good effect. I don't sew, so hot glue came in very handy for the accessories.

I was Ophelia one year, which I thought was frickin' awesome, but the illiterates around me had no idea who I was supposed to be.

Roger_That wrote:

Halloween is just a lame excuse to dress slutty.  I'm going to a house party where laughs will be of more value.  Considering none of the men folk there are any I'd like to impress.

Indeed. On Jezebel, one reader commented that she and her friends took the "sexy Halloween costume" trend to its (il)logical conclusion, dressing as sexy Hitler, sexy Nixon, etc.

Let me know if you need further assistance.

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Just because they're here...

karenw wrote:

I was Ophelia one year, which I thought was frickin' awesome, but the illiterates around me had no idea who I was supposed to be.

How were they supposed to tell?  Were you lying at the bottom of a creek the whole evening?

Then again, in college some guys and I went as Blue Man Group one year.  I think one person figured it out (this was before they did those Intel commercials).  I did learn that full-face (full-head?) makeup is a pain in the ass.

Edit: obligatory Onion Statshot.

Last edited by square (2009-10-31 00:55:01)

karenw wrote:

Well, I did the crown of flowers thing, and did bluish-dead-drowned makeup, and my hair was wet and stringy, and the gown was kind of wet. Not super wet, because I didn't want to freeze. More like wet along the bottom edge. I thought I looked like a drowning victim, but meh.

That's pretty inventive, actually... still don't know if I'd have made the connection.

Roger_That wrote:

I've decided to glue various small bottles of spices to my boobs, and go as a 'spice rack'.  I'll be including lots of cum-in, cream of tartar, gar-lick, and other good choices.

Don't forget "extra hot chili" and sugar.

While I'm on the topic of ill-considered costumes, here's a PSA for you fellows: 21 Costumes That Will NOT Get You Laid.



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I wore an old full-length evening gown and wrapped some mosquito netting around my shoulders as a shawl. I've seen white toga-type Medusas as well as black-clad gothy Medusas -- either way would be fine.

My makeup is gray grease paint on the face, neck, shoulders, and arms. I painted my fingernails with black acrylic (it provides way better coverage than black nail polish, plus it dries quicker).

Do a quick Google image search for "Medusa costume" and you'll have plenty of inspiration.

Whatever you choose, be sure to post pictures!

Emmeran wrote:

I'm going dressed as this guy:   https://cruelery.com/uploads/11_emmeran.jpg

Out to scare a few children, eh?

On another note, I'm realizing that we - as High Street residents and former denizens of Cruel - have all been together entirely too long. We've hit that point in our relationship as an Internet assemblage comparable to the average relationship. You know, when you don't care if your mate sees you scratch your ass for the fifth time that day, and you don't bother to keep up appearances. We snipe at one another in one post and joke with one another in the next. A few storm off, unruly teenagers determined to show us that they don't need us and are ready to tackle the world on their own. We look forward to the occasional visit from those who have gone on to other things, and continue to refer, occasionally with fondness, to those who have passed on, or whatever it is that happens to people when they no longer frequent a web site. We exchange recipes and costume ideas. We have evolved - or devolved, depending upon your point of view - into a typical, dysfunctional family.

Oh my god. That's it. We're fucking married.

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I'll tell you this much--nobody's getting so much as a hand job until that fucking garbage gets taken out.  Don't test me.

Daughter(tm) came down sick this afternoon....I am now stuck in the house with a very, very unhappy teenager who worked for 2 weeks on a costume so she could go trick-r-treating with friends who are back in town for the holiday.

I am in Hell.

Taint wrote:

Emmeran wrote:

Daughter(tm) came down sick this afternoon....I am now stuck in the house with a very, very unhappy teenager who worked for 2 weeks on a costume so she could go trick-r-treating with friends who are back in town for the holiday.

I am in Hell.

Dress her up as the H1N1 virus. She'll get points for authenticity and originality.

Dressing her isn't an option, she spent two weeks building a magnificent Chesire Cat costume and now falls sick - sweet as she is Daddy is the convienent (and only) target for her frustration. 

Poor baby-girl of mine (who is now showing me the side of her that her future mate will hate)

These were the scariest costumes I saw all day here in the waspy ground zero.



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There is something to be said for the cheap approach, if done thoroughly.

Last edited by sigmoid freud (2009-10-31 21:43:44)