"COSHOCTON — A free service enjoyed by hundreds has been shut down due to illegal activity conducted by one individual."

“It’s unfortunate that one person ruins it for those who use the service legitimately,” said Commissioner Gary Fisher.



Yeah, thanks asshole:

Last edited by kim (2009-11-12 16:49:55)

I am that asshole.

Now presenting, due to popular request (I shit you not)...

JESUSLUVSPEGGING'S GUIDE TO STEALING STUFF ON THE INTER NETS WITH BITTORRENT OH MY FUCKING GOD KING IN ALL MY YEARS OF INTER NET ENTERTAINMENT BROADCASTING I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS

First you're gonna need a bittorrent client.  This is the program you use to "steal" movies, music, comic books, software, games, and anything else that can be digitized.  If you're gonna be doing a lot of this (like Me), then I suggest you snag Deluge. (Deluge website down as of this posting.  That's open sores software for ya.)  If you're only gonna grab something every now and then, you might want something like the Stock bittorrent client.  If you want something halfway in between, you might look at Transmission.

Install that shit.

OK.  Now you need to know how to protect yourself from asshole lawyers.  I don't use the stock bittorrent client, so you're on your fucking own with it.  With Deluge or Transmission, you can poke around in the settings until you find the blocklist (peerguardian, etc).   Turn that fucker on and update the cunt out of it.  This blacklists all the inter net computer phone number thingies that are known to be used by assholes.  There's a lot of them.

The other thing you can do is turn on encryption, also in the settings of your bittorrent client.  This slows down your theft ratedownload speed, but it does make you harder to track. 

The OTHER other thing you can do (SKIP THIS SECTION IF YOU ARE AFEARED OF THE COMPUTATOR) to hide from lawyer fucks is to install an anonymizing proxy.  This is a program that makes it look like you're in Germany or Japan or some shit, instead of where you really are.  I'm not gonna try to explain how it works because you're a pack of fucking simpletons and you can't possibly understand the intricacies of Johnson Rod Algorithm Packet Routing.  Anyway, you can install this shit, then tell your BT client to send tracker communications to 127.0.0.1 port 9050 (SOCKS 4 or SOCKS4A type proxy).  This will be in the "proxy settings" portion of your BT client's install.

Tor is probably a paranoid affectation.  YOU DON'T REALLY NEED IT, MOST PEOPLE DON'T USE IT.  If you're downloading bullshit like The Wicker Man and fucking CCR albums (like most of you faggots are going to be doing), no lawyer in the world is going to give a shit.  You can "steal" that garbage all day long and nobody will ever know or care.  It's like taking three pennies from the leave-a-penny-take-a-penny tray at the local gas station where you buy your Black & Milds.  You've "stolen" something of no value.  Kill yourself.

OH NO FUCK YOU JESUS THIS IS HARD.  No, shut up.  Install the client (paragraph 1); now you can "steal."

You're gonna need to download a torrent file and open it with your BT client.  The BT client has probably registerified itself with your webamochine browsermacallit.  You just have to go to a website and click on a link.

You can do that, right?  Right.  OH_FUCKING_KAY I USED UNDERSCORES BECAUSE I"M HOLDING THE SHIFT KEY DOWN INSTEAD OF USING CAPS LOCK OH LOOK A DOUBLE QUOTE WHERE AN APOSTROPHE SHOULD BE FUCK YOU.

Go to one of the following websites, and search for what you want to "steal":

Mininova is the largest torrent site on the inter net.  I strongly recommend that you check out the comments on torrents you download from there.  If a bunch of people are saying "fake," it's probably fake and you shouldn't touch it.

The Pirate Bay is the most notorious torrent tracker (tracker = torrent website) on the inter net.  They have a pretty good selection.

Scrapetorrent is a search engine that searches several different torrent trackers.  Some of the results on this will be on "private" trackers that require you to have a user account with them (usually this is free, but be careful and input fake information into the signup form).

Q:"GEEEEEEEZUUUUUUUUUUS, MY TORRENT ARE NOT THE DOWN LOADING."
A:"YOU BROKE IT!  RUN FOR MEXICO!"

Seriously, though, it takes a little while for torrents to ramp up to full speed, dependent on a number of factors such as your inter net speed and how much you've shared back to the network.  The big thing is you need a torrent that has a good ratio of seeds to leeches.  The numbers of each will be given to you on the torrent download page (at Mininova, or wherever), and also in your client.  A "seed" is someone who has the whole file, a "leech" is your punk ass.  If a torrent has zero seeds, then it will never, ever finish downloading.  I have had very large downloads (all five seasons of Babylon 5, for example) take a couple of weeks.

AND THAT IS HOW YOU MAKE THE THEFTS.

Last edited by jesusluvspegging (2009-12-27 18:31:15)

So sayeth the LORD our God.

Amen and thank you for your many blessings, Jesus.

"Turn that fucker on and update the cunt out of it"

LOLz

Have you seen Targets upscale box of wine? Oh, sorry, Cube of Wine.

Also, have you seen the amazing south park episode about downloading shit illegally? (as well as the newest SP episode clearly talking about Glen Beck?)

Last edited by kim (2009-11-12 21:28:16)

jesusluvspegging wrote:

kim wrote:

Have you seen Targets upscale box of wine? Oh, sorry, Cube of Wine.

Also, have you seen the amazing south park episode about downloading shit illegally? (as well as the newest SP episode clearly talking about Glen Beck?)

I'm Southern (by the grace of Gawd), so a double negative comes naturally to Me.

Wait, what does being southern have to do with south park?
I am guessing no target because instead WalMarts are everywhere?

www.southparkstudios.com
watch that shit online

Last edited by kim (2009-11-12 23:02:20)

jesusluvspegging wrote:

opsec wrote:

hope they don't know how to port forward.

While you're in your BT client's settings/preferences, make sure "UPNP" is turned on.

Damn, next you'll be spilling the secret water to wine process.

I haven't been flying the pirate flag lately.  It's not for lack of opportunity, Comcast offers 100 MB downstream here, but I've got a TB of movies already, only half of which I've watched, and 300 channels of shit on TV.  I also now work at a place which actually requires licenses for software.  Weird I know.