I almost skipped this part at the very end:

Examination of the specimen revealed a perfect concrete cast of the rectum, measuring 12 X 7 X 5 cm and weighing 275 g (Fig. 2). A thin layer of feces coated the surface and crevices. Grooves in the mass were consistent with rectal mucosal folds. A layer of concrete was chipped off the upper part of the specimen and revealed a white plastic ping-pong ball. This corresponded to the radiolucency observed in the abdominal x-ray.

Ping-pong ball indeed.

I believe klismaphiles stick with the more traditional varieties of enema. This was sort of an unplanned cross between one and fisting. Who the hell keeps Sakrete in the bedroom?

The attending physician recommended a psychiatric consultation, but the patient declined.

That would have been one for the journals. At least he got out of the escapade intact, less his dignity, I suppose. He probably could have worked it out himself, were it not for adhesions due to the moisture loss. The ping-pong ball made me wonder, then I thought, "Oh, they must have been trying to use that as a stopper...or simply forgot it was still up there from the night before." Bored whores make the best ER stories.

"You do not comprehend?" he said.

"Not I," I replied.

"Then you are not of the brotherhood."

"How?"

"You are not of the masons."

"Yes, yes," I said; "yes, yes."

"You? Impossible! A mason?"

"A mason," I replied.

"A sign," he said, "a sign."

"It is this," I answered, producing from beneath the folds of my roquelaire a trowel.

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

I wish we had a video of this ass-fag's misery. Setting cement gets hot, and the lime in it is an irritant to the skin. After a big concrete pour your hands (unless you're a pussy and wear gloves), feel like they've been napalmed. After several days of constant concrete pours your hands become rough like 50-grit sandpaper. Then your cute little Don Mills girlfriend won't let you fingerfuck her snatch anymore, because apparently it bleeds enough already. A  few more weeks of concrete and you develop cracks in your palm so deep you can fuck them in the middle of the night as you lie in your cheap hotel room in Toronto, listening to the whore in the next room service a vomiting customer while you stroke yourself off and count the hours till you have to get up, make luke-warm tea from the tap, choke down some peanut butter on stale bread, throw on your mac jacket and steel-toes, grab your hardhat and head to the site, on the edge of the lake, where the bitter December winds make every hour of every 12 hour day a miser...

Sorry, I got a little off topic.

Anyways, I'm just trying to make y'all understand that the dumb fuck concrete-cozy in this story would have been in a lot more pain and discomfort than is obvious from the report. Now fuck off.

I've been reading alot of Algren lately...I can tell you are a fan...Either that or you have some deep-seeded hatred against concrete...So the guy wanted to shit a brick, he learned the hard way.  Should have used Velveeta instead.

sic wrote:

I've been reading alot of Algren lately...I can tell you are a fan...Either that or you have some deep-seeded hatred against concrete.http://i14.tinypic.com/6wpn7yb.jpg

To tell you the truth I don't know Algren. Is this the guy you mean?
As for concrete, I love it. Concrete pours were my favourite thing to do back on the chaingang.
The only thing is, as much as I love concrete, I wouldn't pour the stuff up my shithole. Others might. I'm sure there's at least
one here among us who read that story and thought: "Gosh, concrete. I never thought of that." I'm not going to name names.
They know who they are.

(Oh - by the way - it's not "deep-seeded," it's "deep-seated." That's right. Deep-seated.)

This is a hell of a thread to be confronted with first thing in the morning.

"unusual rectal foreign body resulting from homosexual anal erotic activities"

Don't know why but that line gave me a pretty good chuckle..

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

I wish we had a video of this ass-fag's misery. Setting cement gets hot, and the lime in it is an irritant to the skin. After a big concrete pour your hands (unless you're a pussy and wear gloves), feel like they've been napalmed. After several days of constant concrete pours your hands become rough like 50-grit sandpaper. Then your cute little Don Mills girlfriend won't let you fingerfuck her snatch anymore, because apparently it bleeds enough already. A  few more weeks of concrete and you develop cracks in your palm so deep you can fuck them in the middle of the night as you lie in your cheap hotel room in Toronto, listening to the whore in the next room service a vomiting customer while you stroke yourself off and count the hours till you have to get up, make luke-warm tea from the tap, choke down some peanut butter on stale bread, throw on your mac jacket and steel-toes, grab your hardhat and head to the site, on the edge of the lake, where the bitter December winds make every hour of every 12 hour day a miser...

Sorry, I got a little off topic.

Anyways, I'm just trying to make y'all understand that the dumb fuck concrete-cozy in this story would have been in a lot more pain and discomfort than is obvious from the report. Now fuck off.

You know, R_T, I might have to amend my Jewccusation on old WCL here.  Jew, enamored of your puckerstar as he was, like our friend here was very much unlike him in the painting pictures with words arena.

Taint wrote:

I don't see what the kid is sobbing about. Superman's the one without a dick.

Nah...Superman's just nasty with santorum...