And I'm giving him a subscription to a web site catering to his special demographic.

¡Feliz cumpleaños a tí!

Damn.  Clearly I've been putting way too much personal information on the Internets again.

Where are my pills?  That bitch of a nurse never gives me my pills on time.  I think I'll just mosey on over to the porch swing with my shotgun and see if I can pick off a couple of those little bastards that keep putting footprints in my lawn while jerking off to old man porn. 

Now that I'm old I plan on milking it for all it's worth, and I don't just mean the early bird special at Country Buffet.  I'm going to shit my pants in public and leave the house in my underwear.  I'm gonna be drunk all day and yell things at my furniture, and sleep in other people's houses. 

It's a whole new world out there, and I plan to ruin all of it!

This'll be me pretty soon.

sofaking wrote:

tojo2000 wrote:

Damn.  Clearly I've been putting way too much personal information on the Internets again.

I couldn't say it while it was still your magical day, but shutthefuckup. You know you love the tossed salad and the sweatshirt. I had nothing to do with Taint's present (although I loved it).

tojo2000 wrote:

It's a whole new world out there, and I plan to ruin all of it!

That's the spirit. And if you're old, I'm Mother Theresa.

Hey, I loved my presents.  That wasn't a lack of gratitude, just a horrifying thought that there might be someone in latex paint shagging my cats when I got home with a candle sticking out of his ass.  The Internets are a scary place.

Lurker wrote:

just be thankful it wasn't this....

Link to YouTube page

Nick Frost is kinda hot. Have you seen Sean of the Dead?

He's hysterical.

Lurker wrote:

But of course darling!  Shawn of the Dead is fucking hilarious.  I just watched another funny zombie movie today called "Fido"  check it out if you haven't seen it.  Brilliant.
Isn't the guy in the choni's from "The Office" ?  If so, he's gotten rather chubby...

I'm getting fat again. Shit happens.

I have three wardrobes. I'm wearing the biggest one.

Lurker wrote:

Sweetness, I am SO sure you are not fat...besides...Mr. Sofie will have more cushion for pushin'.  And you're talkin' to a chubby chaser...

I'm so tall, even a "skinny" weight on me seems a lot for a girl. It's just a number, albeit a high one.

Baby, I'm so bitchin, it would take more than a couple pounds to make Mr. Sofie trip. When you quit blow, it slowly creeps up on ya.

Lurker wrote:

At least you're healthy....

At least she has a brain....

Lurker wrote:

WilberCuntLicker wrote:

Lurker wrote:

At least you're healthy....

At least she has a brain....

Don't you have some corpse or cousin to fuck?

You know those don't have to be mutually exclusive.

Lurker wrote:

tojo2000 wrote:

Lurker wrote:

Don't you have some corpse or cousin to fuck?

You know those don't have to be mutually exclusive.

With Cuntlick, they're probably not, my guess is he is a fat fucking slob that never gets any, umm... 'cept for his dead cousin...

Your guesses, like everything else about you, are incredibly inane.
Here's that pic of you again: